Monday, February 09, 2009


I hurt my knee shoveling about a month ago. I went into my doctor and he sent me to an orthopedic sturgeon and ordered digital x-rays for me. Doctor Laing gave me a cortisone shot, ordered an MRI and sent me on my way. Let me tell you, I'm no baby and I have a pretty high threshold for pain, but that shot was the worst pain I've ever felt. I woke up during extraction surgery and I thought that was the worst pain I'd ever have, but I was WRONG!

Anyway, today, I went back to Dr. Laing and he gave me the news -- I have torn cartilage and it needs to be repaired. That means that on Friday, I have to submit myself to surgery. Yes, I know it's Friday the 13th, but I'm hoping for the best.

Before you can have surgery (and you're a woman of childbearing years), one of the tests they do is a pregnancy test. Strictly speaking, I think this is normally okay, except -- I can't have children. It would be some amazing miracle if my pregnancy test turned up positive. Normally, when I'm asked by a doctor, nurse or x-ray technician if I'm pregnant, I make a joke, like "Only if a star is rising in the East." This usually gets a laugh and my file is marked no. But, today, today, being told that they ordered a pregnancy test -- when my file should say I can't have children -- just reduced me to absolute tears.

I don't want my insurance company to have to pay for a test that isn't necessary, but more than that, I don't want to hear the results. The pain of that last phone call when they told me that I wasn't pregnant was the worst experience of my life. Somehow, I just feel that if they do this test, I'd have to live with that pain all over again and, quite frankly, I just couldn't do it again. Doesn't my doctor get that? Doesn't he realize that a part of me died the day I discovered I couldn't have children?

After I finished my crying jag -- I got to thinking, why isn't my file marked? Cannot bear children - no pregnancy test needed. A woman is in childbearing years for a long time and I really don't want to have pregnancy tests for every surgery for the next ten or more years. I can't believe I'm the only infertile woman who has had to go through this. Do we all cry?

When I mentioned to Cheryl that it would be a miracle that I would be pregnant, she said, "Yeah, but wouldn't that be some miracle?"

I wonder if miracles do still happen. Maybe, I should take the test to see if one has happened.

God Bless

Labels: , , , , , , , , ,

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

I've looked far and wide and all I see are hypocrites...

Sarah Palin's seventeen year old daughter is pregnant. Now I know that Obama states that Palin's family is off-limits, but I disagree. Palin supports abstinence education, hmmm, how's that working out for you, Sarah? The Palin's are going to compound the issue by having their 17 year old daughter marry the father of the baby. Well, that sounds like a match made in Heaven.

What really burns my butt on this is the wrong-wing Christians who are rallying behind Palin. Oh, this just shows she's human. This can happen to any family. Blah, blah, blah. This is BS because you and I both know if the shoe was on the other foot and it was a Democrat's child, they would be all over it like white on rice. This, also burns my butt because this is a clearcut example of how abstinence education DOESN'T work.

I'm sorry this seventeen year old girl is going through a pregnancy the whole world knows about. I can only imagine how thrilled she must be that her mother's running for VP, so this is no longer a private family matter. I wonder if she even loves the guy she now has to marry to help her mother save face?

And, on top of all this, I have to hear from my mom that: 1) Palin should resign, so she can take care of her family and 2) if she wasn't governor, her daughter wouldn't be pregnant out of wedlock. Like somehow working mothers are to blame when their children are pregnant out of wedlock and the fact that my mom was a stay at home mom is the only reason I didn't end up being a pregnant teenager. (Trust me, Mom, that had nothing to do with it.)

God Bless

Labels: , , , , ,